He was sexy, he was intelligent, he was sweet, my family loved him... and he was loyal.
Our relationship lasted for two and a half years. We achieved every major teenage milestone while hand in hand. Ring Ceremony, Homecomings, Junior Prom, Senior Prom, Graduation... and entering college to start our grand lives as adults.
And adulthood hit us hard only one week after graduation. When I discovered that I was pregnant.
It was a slip up in my birth control. It is only 99% affective after all. You might think that we had a difficult decision to make, but in reality, it didn't even seem like a decision at all. The abortion was scheduled the very same day that he was to return from Senior Week (since I wasn't aloud to go) and our parents and friends needed never to be the wiser. It was going to be a difficult week for me, just waiting for him to return and knowing that everyday I had something inside of me that was growing.
It became even more difficult when I received the text message: "I think that maybe we should be friends"
I had had enough. Fuck standing by and letting him have all the fun while I was stuck home, working and worrying. I had just graduated from high school too! I was going to college in the fall too. This baby was not real, and I wasn't going to let it ruin us. So I begged my best friend for use of her car and off we went the next day to confront him in a beach city some four or five hours away. When we arrived, he was pretty easy to trick into meeting us, since my friend never mentioned that I was with her. And as he walked towards me... the hickeys on his neck seemed to grow darker and darker. I fell over with remorse. Why did this matter to me? It never mattered when the first one cheated... and this one at least broke up with me first. I climbed back in the car and stayed there and cried until my friend was ready to leave. Thank God for her.
When he came home early, the very next day. He cried and swore it was a mistake and he was sorry. He went with me to the abortion clinic and told me how much he loved me. After all was said and done, I truly believed his sorrow and believed that I could not live without him, and I took him back.
We began college in the fall, at separate schools but still saw each other often enough. We both made new friends, and learned new information. After only one semester, he was dull to me. I realized that there was so much out there for me to experience and to stay with my high school boyfriend was just not something that I wanted all of a sudden. But I had no idea how to do it. We had been through so much together, and he was so in love with me. One night, we were lying in bed when he decided that it was the time to confess to me the truth. Those hickeys did not happen the night after he broke up with me, but the night before... because he was scared of what was happening. Five months had passed where we lived this lie. And I could not be more relieved then when he told me this. Not because I was upset or had ever suspected the truth, but because I could pretend that I was.
Only two days before the truth was outed... I had met someone very interesting. Someone who was five years older then me, and knew a lot more about the world then I did at my very young 18 years of age. And he knew way more then my high school boyfriend. My mother warned me about him. "There is a huge difference in age between 18 and 22," she would tell me. And its not until now that I know just how right she was. But I could pretend to be upset, except that in reality, I was relieved to have a reason to try out this new and interesting character.
He had sex with me once, then told me that I was "too young" and kicked me to the curb.
For the first time in my life, I was alone. With no guy to fall back on.
Thats when I met Thomas*
*name has been changed... but this one is so epic that he needs a name.
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